Stop “holding space” for others

In the early ‘00s while mingling with a lot of coaches and budding healers, there was a concept being thrown around a lot — holding space for a client. The idea is that the coach, therapist, or healer, would take the goals or intentions of the other person, and hold onto those ideas within their own conscious mind and energetic space.

I’m guessing it was premised upon the not necessarily true idea that two or more people holding a similar intention would make it manifest for one person in a better or faster way. While holding space sounded really supportive, it really bothered me somehow. By this time, I knew that when my conscience was nagged, there was something beneath the surface that either wasn’t understood or considered, and it was creating unforeseen consequences for one or both parties.

Now I know what it is.

Fast forward years later to achieving greater understanding of consciousness and energetic space, I can articulate what really goes on with holding space for another person or their intentions.

Most people think of ideas, mental space and energetic space as infinite — so this idea of holding space for another wouldn’t even register as taking UP space. Actually this concept goes against the design and function of one’s consciousness system. It’s actually one reason so many coaches, healers and therapists, can suffer unforeseen chaos, illness and poverty within their own personal lives.

Let me explain.

For the sake of simplicity, consider your consciousness and your energy field like a big ten foot square space around you. The sum total of the content within your consciousness system* decides what occupies that space. Depending upon the content, the energy in the space then becomes allotted to serve whatever is held in that space. If you occupy your personal space with other people’s intentions, it robs you of the energy your Higher Self gives to you to keep your body healthy and protected, as well as to manifest YOUR intentions.

Here’s a more literal example.

I once had a client complaining she couldn’t sleep or focus on her goals, after her husband moved out during the divorce. I asked a few more questions and found out that since she had so much space in her house, her neighbors and friends started to store their stuff in her house! When I heard about the agreements she was making to store other’s stuff, I was appalled, since it was symbolic of them also moving into her energetic space. Not only was she taking on the responsibility to protect and store these objects, she was also maintaining and protecting those forms energetically. In doing so, she was robbing herself of her capacity to hold images of what she desired to attract into her life.

Similarly, if you choose to hold mental or energetic space for others, you’re creating shared agreements which end up sacrificing your consciousness system to not work for you. That in turn causes your attractions to falter or even worse you start attracting what others want, or don’t want into your life.

Here’s another example.

Several years ago, a former client reached out to me to invite me to consider speaking at an event her friend was organizing. They were seeking to bring together spiritual women speakers to share their wisdom, but also to lead the audience in holding space for planetary peace. Sounds good, right?

At first I was honored to be considered, but then I checked the dates. My heart sunk. It was one of those moments — you can see a train coming — but you don’t want to scare anyone — yet you cannot live with yourself if you don’t speak up. Since she had studied before in my advanced consciousness connection courses, and to preserve my integrity, I had to share that the dates they chose are the energy-windows when the Creator rebuilds the Tree of Life within each of us, dispersing life force for the coming year. To lead this group of women to focus on holding space for her friend’s intention to create world peace — no matter how altruistic — was to essentially cause the attendees consciousness system to reject a year’s worth of blessings and prosperity from the Creator, in favor of focusing on HER intention. I cautioned that doing this event with that intention, during that energy-window, could bring about serious karmic consequences for everyone there. Could they choose another date? No. She said she understood what I was saying, but that she wanted to stand by — aka hold space — for her friend! I hung up in sadness, saying a small Forgive them for they know not what they do type prayer. A year or so later, I heard she was rear-ended by an uninsured driver, and cannot work anymore due to her head injury. Karma or coincidence ? No one will truly know. However, I DO know that when you hold space for other’s intentions, you create agreements to also hold space for the karma or consequences generated by those intentions.

So what to do?

Carve out some time and mentally forgive yourself and the other person for buying into this nice but erroneous idea of holding space for others. Be kind to yourself, for now you’re learning more about consciousness and how to work with the system as it is designed. Then, thank your Higher Self for removing any energy or consciousness you have been holding for others, asking that it be returned to THEIR Higher Selves — the REAL sources which can help them manifest their intentions. You will not be letting them down. Actually, in some cases, you may see that person’s situation change rapidly because your field is not mixed into their attractions!

Then, may I suggest moving forward you hold space for this:

The Truth that everyone has a Higher Self and an energetic-consciousness field, that is specifically designed to help them manifest their intentions. Hold the space that EVERY person learns to utilize his/her amazing consciousness system to attract and realize his/her intentions for happiness. Simple, easy, Truth, and a win-win for all!

*Your consciousness system, what I call the Inner Communication System is composed of the Higher Mind/Self, Conscious Mind/Self and Subconscious Mind/Basic Self. Most people are only aware of about 10% of what goes on within their system of consciousness! To learn to access more, subscribe to my BlueGrid® Meditation Method to get the free course and learn more of our consciousness training methods at Inner Communications.




Expert, author and speaker on creating and practicing the Miracle-Driven Mindset.

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Kelle Eli Phillips

Kelle Eli Phillips

Expert, author and speaker on creating and practicing the Miracle-Driven Mindset.

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